This is my first story (with a few interactive choices), about Jessie and his sissy transformation proccess.
The story contains 5 chapters (+ prologue and epilogue) , and contains images of all the female clothing the “hero” and the other females in this story wear.
Any feedback would be highly appreciated.
Thank you all very much for the detailed and helpful reviews.
First - I've uploaded a quick new version that fixed the broken epilogue.
As you all noticed - english is not my first language. I realise now I need to put extra emphasis on grammar, spelling and editing (to be honest I assumed I will have mistakes - but I believed they will no be as common and as distracting).
This wasn’t created originally as a game but as a completely linier story (with the pictures) . Only later I transformed it to this format and added some “branching” choices. I understand this transformation wasn’t made in the best way and some rethinking has to be done regarding the structure and in order to better fit the new format.
Thanks again for all the reviews and players. I am really happy I many people played it and gave feedbacks.
I will keep you updated soon….
14.1.2018 - Ver. 0.8.0.1
- I've uploaded a quick updade that fixed the broken epilogue
I keep getting server connection errors,a download file really would be nice and would prevent this story from somehow becoming lost
Love the pictures. Love the concept. Wish there were a little more branching, but stayed with the current five chapters. Basically to make each path through the game more and more distinct.
It is a short, linear story featuring a common but not uninteresting crossdressing fantasy. Each chapter took me about 2 minutes and there were 5 chapters plus a little bit more so it is not going take you too long to finish everything. There were some grammar mistakes which were kind of ignorable.
Since it is hosted on the web, it wont hurts much to just give it a try.
Images are back with the latest minor update.
Nice idea with ... let's just call it uneven execution. The author desperately needs to hire, bribe, or kidnap somebody with some knowledge of editing the English language, and the story includes a great many ideas are either quickly or instantly implemented with very little attention paid to the internal conflict that would have to accompany such extreme changes in lifestyle and belief system.
Decent job overall, though. Lots of hot, nasty bits too, which is always helpful. ;)
@toofine89 and bearclaw01234: Please remember that the author designated this and advertises it as a story, not a game. If you don't expect to be able to choose your own adventure in Game of Thrones or Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, is it really fair to expect it here?
I want to start by saying the story and pictures are sexy and I liked them a lot. There are two things that prevented me from liking this more, however.
1 As others pointed out, grammar is not the author's strong suit.
2 More importantly, this game is too linear. Not all games need huge branches and the like, but if there is an option between two things, I hope there is some difference from each choice. In this game, you are only ever given choice A and B. Where choice A is "be a sissy and directly progress the plot" and choice B is "resists somehow, but then immediately return to what choice A would have done." It is not choice, and not even truly illusion of choice. That said, the story was still good enough to be fine, but there's almost no reason to bother adding choice if choice doesn't matter.